Do birth classes help? Feedback on prepping for Labor & Delivery, Breastfeeding, and early Parenting from 50 moms
I asked the following on my Instagram stories:
I feel like the biggest challenges I hear both for labor/delivery and for early parenting have to do with things not going as expected and having a lot of stress when the typical guidelines/advice/rules end up not being effective or being unrealistic for them to follow.
So... I'm hesitant to take any birthing or nursing or parenting classes only to stress out about all the rules vs just following my (wonderful) doctor's suggestions in the moment for L&D, and going off of instinct (and ofc a few basic safety standards, and prayer lol) for early parenting.
Any thoughts/regrets/opinions based on your experience?
I received almost 50 responses and found it such a helpful discussion! I wanted to share the biggest takeaways and what I plan to do for myself, though the variety of responses is a good reminder that everyone’s personality AND each birth experience even for the same person can be SO different, so it’s best to make your own decisions for yourself!
Here are my biggest takeaways:
1.generally everyone has no regrets about the way they did it:
People who took classes felt like they helped, especially for their partners who were often otherwise less prepped. Very positive feedback on classes as a whole, with only one or two people who felt the classes made their experience worse by making them fear certain birth methods that they ended up needing.
People who went in fairly “blind” mostly did not feel overwhelmed or wish they learned more ahead of time and felt neutral or glad that they didn’t take classes, with one common exception being breast feeding — several people kind of wished they prepared more for that. But one or two people felt that more education ahead of time might have helped them understand what was happening better during their complicated delivery experience.
Both parties agreed instincts as well as circumstances outside of your control play a big role and things do not go as expected no matter how much you prep. If you take classes you will have to hold the info loosely still and will do many things differently than you thought you would.
2. Things some people said might have been nice to prep more (from both parties):
Pain management/breathing techniques or prepping with a pelvic floor physical therapist (you can’t really learn this in the moment and may need it at least for a short period even if you decide to get an epidural)
Breastfeeding/pumping/know what resources you have if you need help
Postpartum self care, meaning just having supplies on hand at home for physical healing like pads, pain killer etc. and having your home already set up and ready for you to be recovering while caring for baby
Helps to have a general idea of your preferences for basic L&D decisions ahead of time because it can be difficult to think about what you want when asked in the moment. If you want to fully just do whatever the doctor says, it might help to communicate that with the doctor: “I would like you to be very involved and give me lots of direction about what I should be doing.”
A few basic baby care/safety things are important to know, but the hospital will likely teach you the essentials, so a class probably isn’t needed to learn these things.
3. Other helpful notes
The Birth Hour Podcast was recommended multiple times (I also have liked listening to this) because it’s personal stories, not advice, and they are labeled by positive/negative/unmedicated/c-section etc., so you can choose what you are interested in hearing, and it gives a good idea of the wide variety of experiences that can happen that might not necessarily be covered in a class.
Lots of people had really positive stories about L&D in general. There was lots of encouragement to not fear it too much no matter the method you end up choosing or needing, including one person who said she has had 3 C-Sections out of necessity and her experiences with the process and recovery were all a lot more positive than people say C-Sections are, and another person who said her C Section experience was truly beautiful and that she is doing another for her second child by choice.
It probably makes a difference if you have a provider you trust. If you feel you may have to defend your preference or have a doctor who isn’t going to prioritize listening to you well and making sure they have consent for everything, then extra education can help you feel more in control and able to stand up for yourself if needed. Keep in mind you may not have your own doctor during delivery, but some midwives and most doulas are more guaranteed to be there whenever you give birth.
4. My preparation plan as of now:
I don’t think I’ll take any classes unless I can find one that is exclusively about labor pain management/pelvic floor exercises and tips.
I will keep listening to/reading non-traumatic birth and postpartum stories to normalize how different everyone’s experience is and take note of some things I might want to look into more.
I will do some basic research (maybe just on YouTube or by asking friends) on how to breastfeed and pump and probably will try to have one or a few formula options on hand already in case we want to go that route last min. (Loved the breastfeeding chapter of the book Cribsheet by Emily Oster)
Will have some date nights with my husband, dedicated to discussing each other’s expectations and some of the things I/we learn so that we are at least starting out on the same page
I will write down some general preferences for L&D things— mostly regarding which medication choices I’m open to or not/at what point I think I’ll be willing to change my plan. Will hold this pretty loosely, especially since it is my first time and I don’t have any strong opposition to any of the options (One exception: I hated my experience on nitrous oxide for wisdom teeth removal years ago, so I will make sure I don’t receive that again).
Hope this helps if you’re having a similar debate to mine, are taking notes for future or were just curious what people had to say! I’m kind of curious to hear from the partners also sometime — Do they wish they prepared more? What things do they wish they brought to the hospital? (I often hear of partners getting super hungry, for example).
That’s all for now — I’ll share how it goes for me after little bud is born!